Schrodinger's Cat
by StarStuff42
Summary: Carlos the Scientist tries to explain quantum mechanics to his beloved Cecil using the thought experiment of Schrodinger's Cat. Cecil doesn't exactly react well.


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"Wait, I don't get it honey. Could you explain that again?" Cecil asked in exasperation, sitting across from his boyfriend at the dinner table.

"So, particles have properties—one of them is called Color Charge" Carlos replied, trying not to narrate with his hands as he ate.

"So that's why things have color?" Cecil asked, feeling the light bulb turn on in his head, but Carlos the Scientist had to stop himself from banging his head into the paella on his plate.

"No, Cecil, it's not at all what gives objects color. That just has to do with pigmentation molecules and light waves. No, I'm talking about little tiny particles called quarks" Carlos said, hating to crush his boyfriend's excitement.

"Oh, right..." Cecil said, feigning understanding "...and could you remind me what those are again?"

Cecil had eagerly accompanied Carlos to a lecture at the University given by a particle physicist from CERN. Carlos had followed the developments of the Large Hadron Collider research on dark matter, the discovery of the Higgs-Boson, and what Carlos found most interesting of all, the study of the early universe through creating small black holes at high energy collisions. Cecil quickly found out that he was perhaps not as "into science these days" as he previously thought.

Carlos cleared the table and began to do the dishes as Cecil went into the living room and put on an episode of Star Trek: The Original Series. Cecil crept up behind Carlos as he finished the dishes, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"You know, you mentioned one thing that I found particularly interesting" Cecil said in a low voice, nearly a purr.

"Oh, and what was that?" Carlos asked, turning around.

"You could tell me more about Quantum Entanglement" Cecil said, biting his lower lip.

"Oh" Carlos replied, blush rising over his dark skin, "well when two particles are created together...um, when those particles are separated...hm, information can be transferred?...I'm sorry I'm trying to make quantum entanglement sexy and I just can't. It's really not."

"I'm just kidding you big dork, come on, let's go watch Star Trek" Cecil said, taking Carlos's hand and leading him over to the couch.

Carlos leaned against the edge of the couch with Cecil curled up against his chest. Cecil couldn't help but laugh as Carlos narrated the opening, in full dramatic Shatner fashion.

As they watched several red shirts die, Khoshekh jumped down from his spot on the back of the couch, and Carlos was struck with a brilliant idea.

"Cecil! I know of a way I can explain quantum uncertainty to you" Carlos exclaimed.

"Oh really?" Cecil replied, turning over to face Carlos.

"Yes. So, there was this guy named Schrodinger, and he was a scientist. To help explain the copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics, he performed this little thought experiment. Ready?" Carlos asked.

"I'm ready" Cecil said excitedly.

"Okay, so imagine you put a cat in a box—" Carlos began to explain, but was interrupted by his boyfriend.

"A cat like...Khoshekh?" Cecil asked.

"Sure, a cat like Khoshekh, although it's normally referred to as Schrodinger's Cat. So, you put this cat in a box, and close it so that you can't see the cat. The box is attached to a computer that will randomly generate a 1 or a 0. You have no idea which number the computer generates. If the computer generates a 0, nothing happens. But if the computer generates a 1, a vile of poisonous gas is broken and the cat dies." A loud gasp from Cecil stopped Carlos from explaining further.

"This guy _poisoned_ his _cat_" Cecil said.

"No, no, sweetie, it's just a thought experiment! Anyway, if you don't look into the box—"

"So, this is how you guys study physics? Leaving the fate of sweet, innocent cats up to evil computers?" Cecil continued. Carlos sighed as Cecil disentangled himself from his boyfriend and sat up straight.

"Cecil, no cats have ever been harmed in quantum physics research. Anyway, if there is an equal possibility of the cat being dead or alive, and there is no way for you to observe it, what can you say about the state of the cat?" Carlos continued, hoping to get the point through to Cecil.

"I can say that none of this would have happened if this Schrodinger guy wasn't such a sadistic creep!" Cecil said as he bounded off of the couch.

Carlos turned his attention back to the television just in time to see someone get attacked by a silicon creature that looks like leftover meatloaf. Chuckling to himself about the Horta, Carlos saw Cecil come back into the room holding Khoshekh. Cecil sat down with his beloved, spiky cat on the other side of the couch.

"There, there, my precious Khoshekh. Nobody's putting you into a box. I won't let Schrodinger anywhere near you" Carlos heard Cecil muttering to his cat. With a sigh, Carlos resigned himself to the fact that Khoshekh would probably replace him as Cecil's cuddle buddy for a while. Carlos would probably also be sleeping on the couch tonight. The things he does for science.


End file.
